How to Make Your Life More Exciting

Sometimes when I feel lonely and like my life is stagnating, I rearrange where the apps are on my iPod and then I feel better. 

To my love, Company,



There are certain factors that change the complexities of saudade into a simple form, highlighted rather by the curse of ignorance which can distract one from the infinite abyss of their mind. You, my dear, took swiftly to that train; and instead of gazing mournfully at the stars, you sealed off all of your doubts and focused inwards on the cages of material, expendable joys, which led to my departure.

When I left it was almost like a whisper of regret escaping your body, and all of the fibers of your hair stood on end in refrained silence... I miss the curves of your phaneron and the distinct role entropy played within it. I felt the presence of many lives existing on your breath as I was breathing through you, your corrupted lungs expanding with my mere touch; and the simultaneous shattering of those dreams somehow completed me.

I know upon meeting, your was long hair pulled back from your neck and your throat almost ached in pressing against your skin, I wanted to feel how the ache moved from your heart through your veins, I wanted your tears to become mine. And so, I closed upon you like a cloud of indignation, and that which you could not reciprocate was balanced by your yearning for the emptiness inside you to be shrouded instead by feelings of guilt and angst... Lost promises, bleak goodbyes, broken sentiments all pressed within like a ball of clay being molded by the hands of Fate. I know your bones all screamed with the inability to seize opportunities when they arose, and those moments that you could no longer capture was resolved with the existence of my failures.

Although I caused a form of cancer in your soul, I am a gentleman, and I take your warnings seriously... I know your short happiness will disappear soon anyway. Until then, I've been contemplating efficacy and the very breaches of time in which one can lose themselves in bleak cracks in the sidewalk. I've always been afraid of waiting on someone to crack open my hard shell and let my aura dissaperate into electromagnetic energy; but I want to become one with the atmosphere and flutter in random patterns until our atoms intertwine. You don't understand that now, but death is a dream life is infinitely waking up from, and I want that for you. I know when you are listening, my words will fall like bitter candies into your hungry ears. 

It is as if there is an entire ocean within me that thrashes about in search of some form of beauty; I'm done with passion because there is nothing exactly comparable to the lack of appreciation you can have for something that isn't me, or what you think I am... Call me crazy, but there is nothing left to reveal when the skin of our bodies is peeled back. With or without you, I am true nothingness, in a sad world that we were all raised in, where truth and lies both end where they begin. I am perpetually plagued to seek out some sense of wholeness, but of course that is a fallacy, and with you at least both of our nothingness can expand further into numb space. I wish to envelop you entirely, for your dim luster attracts all of  the melancholy mermaids within me to the abandoned boardwalks you breach.

You are my eternal companion, my fellow nothingness, my empty space of longing. My return is inevitable just as the tears on your face with surely dry into crisps as the starlight consumes them.

My only question for you is this: Will I ever succeed in the conclusion of your heart?

With achingly frigid love,

Misery

Scraping Knees

Open your eyes 

Are you aware that you're still dreaming?

I once thought I knew what I looked like

But when I look in the mirror I slip away, 

And question hours of the day,

Because words and varied sentence structures are insufficient 

In a world that meddles with parallel contingencies and dirty dishes. 

(Upon closing the shades I realized that the sky's changing hues were similar to that of complacent forlorn minds.) 

I took to the rafters and found single petals covered with dew, 

I looked into the mirror until I saw you. 

I awoke to dreaming and knew it wasn't true. 

The banks of concrete mingled snow have ranges that no one knows. 

(And everyone continues to paint the bike shed of their favorite prisms.) 

I can't say who people are but I just know I've been them,

Breathing in yellow copper tone lights and thin subnet wafers of crimson;

A bottled rhythm that beats quiet in dark days of sentient glue. 

My heart printed out a numbered photolithography just for you, with staccato fingertips tapping on the edges to to the tune of "I love you", where everything ended in question marks and the hours of the day grew. 

(Spattered liquid inkjets on mahogany spirals of wood.) 

All I wanted to do is something we never could, 

And breathe on exotic smell that remind us--

We've been there. 

I miss the days when my neck could reach upwards without feeling any dread,

I've payed too much attention to the discomforts of loving and the yearning to be dead. 

In a basin of words that ripple to the frequency of 9.5,

I stick my face in to see what I can find 

Shuddering at misinterpretation 

And all the little pieces I've left behind, wasted time, resting in your fingertips 

Swollen by lovesick heartache 

And not understanding how you could be forever mine. 

It's easier to close your eyes and watch the shapes become colors against the background of an elastic skull. 

I mean this, your narrowing precipice stretched further than the slope of a hundred aching beds

(Varying sentence structures speak more loudly that anything I could've said.)

~ Breezy 

poem.

In the light they've stolen, 

the curtains weep

with loose threads that 

catch the sun 

in dusty strands; and the women scream silent words 

into the mouths of many telephones, 

which wreak the pain 

of grasping sustenance each day. 

I saw you losing bones in May, 

when the many honorable classes

clasped hands with gray stoic ash

As they left the buildings, 

the sun was raw 

and faced the earth with 

degenerate seasoning. 

Like late noon flesh. 

And the mothers weeped 

into telephones

like the paper bones, that hid

the light they stole. 

The collision of many individual 

photons was a mere flash 

of camera lenses 

capturing the fallen strands 

of dust and bones

Identifying, rectifying 

The light they stole 

was no longer 

satisfying. 

It's something fake, 

It's hidden in your fireplace,

I spit it out and simmered 

the life within that could not bend

{Oh the holy animal}

Pulling forest from the sun

And hidden in a stolen letter, lost...

Liven up, said the silly women. 

The darkness is 

pulled up like covers

and searches the narrow precipice 

for more light to win. 

Searching for the days

when life could not begin. 

~ Breezy 

Spectrum

You can find solace in tender loving sighs like cold wind rattling; your drunken spirals of triangle tongues don't know where to begin. Waiting in empty spaces and crawling from cracks that no one knows. Mirrors pressed into your palms where prismatic chandeliers lay, within the folds of your very skin that hardens like clay. Waiting for voices to covet your lies; sepia toned pictures consumed by angled spires in your trachea, that swallow silently every time you lift your eyes and look away... Until the explosive din of milky predawn stars overtake your soul in a single whisper; and you can no longer drift into begging window panes like dust motes that hang in absolute zero within your prefrontal cortex. And you mold like yellow glue that forever crack in the soles of your time worn shoes. No one can ever say goodbye because you swallow their words like some vindictive lie as soon as you look away. Your mouth crumbles at their paper spines composed of red and white. You live this way until your hollow cavity lays within the folds of many planets' skin and the very blue of your bottom lip quivers with hues of distant moons. I thought I saw you in the rain, but the leaves trembled and your empty voice shook somewhere until I couldn't hear a word; the snowflakes slowly unlaced by every last drop until the crimson neon violets of your mind uncovered like spectrums of flower petals unfolding. I could hear your distant goodbye somewhere but the light was too loud for me to listen. 

~ Breezy

Fables Untold

I tore the rain from your framework 

And infused fears like fables in the depths of your bones

Where utter silence can't pull out darkness and extract minuscule beads of light (in the presence of art without the knowledge of many journeys).

I've written too many stories not to break the soil I stand on, to which what firmness may lay and forever crumble at the beating of broken hearts. 

The fraying of your earthly shell keeps me mellow inside; reminds me that I'm going soon and no one will realize. 

Sometimes it gets harder to exist as opposed to considering existence, to which the staccato beats of phantasmagoric dreams lead me astray... The jagged edges of too many broken hearts beating at once tells the time clearer than broken microwaves, (Where I keep endless mouths closed as I am forever opening). 

In the hidden beds which you sold your silence; your bones creak louder than mattress springs as legs unravel. (Grow out your quickening hues and leave the years behind.)

You forget to cry at all the wrong times as the fearing of light beads constructs something like a mind inside your skull (and echoes shrill laughter).

The keeping of a million shut eyes closed is more strenuous than the nonexistence of light in fables untold. 

~ Breezy 

Breezy's Quirks

Breezy has some quirks. She has weird reactions sometimes. She decided to make a list of these quirks because Jack thinks the existence of this list is somehow useful. 

Reactions to...

1) Cute things~ Breezy squishes her face up and balls up her fists and hunches over. She also gets particularly bouncy. 

2) Scary things~ Breezy usually drops to the floor and curls up in a little ball (i.e when things jump out at her). Breezy also plugs her ears (on roller coasters) and sometimes hides behind things (like during scary movies of when watching fireworks). 

3) Stressful things~ Breezy can't handle stressful things. She likes to push these things out of her mind in stressful situations. This makes her a very skilled procrastinator. But when things get the best of her, she cracks her knuckles repeatedly, licks her lips fastidiously, her limbs go numb, and she gets dizzy. Sometimes her vision gets blurry. 

4) Happiness, Happiness~ This is Breezy's favorite emotion. (Obviously). Her limbs go all sugary and her head still goes all dizzy, but it's a pleasant dizzy. She stoops on her tip-toes and twitters about. She smiles a-lot and giggles too much. 

5) Anxiety-inducing things~ See "Stressful Things" 

6) Awkward things~ A very ubiquitous feature in Breezy (fun fact: 68% of Breezy is "Awkward"). During these painful times, Breezy tends to: shrug, fling her arms about like noodles, mumble a series of "mehs" and related noises, pace around in circles (she also does this when she is thoughtful/ in a conversation/ lacking conversation... she is a bit restless), and touch people's faces in a way that is the definition of "Awkward". Sometimes she even stutters and makes excessive movements with her hands. 

7) Things Involving "Love"~ See "Happiness, Happiness" 

8) Exciting things!~ Breezy jumps around and talks very fast and makes strange facial expressions! She purses her lips and smiles really huge and convulses a bit! She shakes her bangin' bangs and does something similar to "jazz hands" and makes noises like "oeuf" or "aghygh"! 

9) Anger-inducing things~ Not an admirable emotion of Breezy's. Her lip curls up and she frowns and stinks around and blushes and clenches her fists and sputters euphemisms and sometimes throws things. 

10) Funny things~ Breezy giggles and laughs, of-course. She is a person. But she also doubles over and rubs her eyes and rolls around maybe she's alone. Sometimes people think they've "broken" her since she has over exaggerated laughs. 

11) Sentimental things~ Another favorite emotion of Breezy. During these special times, her bottom lil often protrudes from her face and her head tweaks left of right a 90 degree angle and she sighs big cutesy-type sighs. She also holds her arm to her chest (and maybe sometimes the object of sentiment as well), and makes little chirpy noises. 

12) Flusteredness-Inducing things~ This makes it hard to function for Breezy. Her knead bend in and she twitches a bit and madly flings her arms around. She turns numerous shades of pink or red and spins around in frustration and growls and maybe sometimes even gets teary. Not the sad kind of teary. The angry and futile kind of teary. She even has little conniption fits where she has to rub her ankles or continuously smooth out her hair. (See Jack's depiction of flustered Breezy below.)

~Aaaand, finished.~~

Editor's note: 

Breezy probably needs help.